Sunday, May 17, 2009
Market Watch! Tuna prices up!
Like a lot of Americans, I like to keep my eye on the markets. Today at the market I saw something really disturbing, which was that tuna prices are skyrocketing!
Tunas are one of my main foodgroups, so I am one of the chief demographics being hit by this price hike. Back in the day, I remember hearing that tunas were plentiful and cheap. This is one of the reasons I decided to subsist on them. Another reason for my passion is that it is easy to make a giant sandwich in under 5 minutes by using tunas. In today’s market, however, I nearly didn’t even buy the tunas, that’s how expensive they were ($1.20). In the end though, I bought 8 cans (total cost $9.60 plus tax), and here is why.
- Supply and Demand: Tunas, like many other noble fish are being “overfished” which is serious. If my numbers are correct (which they are) tunas are really in danger of disappearing forever. If my numbers sound made up, that is because they are, but the situation is still serious. Science suggests that there are two main reasons why tunas are being overfished: 1) they are delicious and 2) they are stupid. Seriously tunas, when you see a net, turn around. Sheesh.
The over fishing means that tunas will soon be rare. When they are, my eight cans will be worth their weight in gold, especially since tunas aren’t getting any less delicious.
- Tuna deliciousness and health benefits: Tunas taste great, but they are also great for you. A good rule of thumb in determining if an animal is good to eat is to ask yourself “Is this animal awesome?” If the answer is yes, chances are it is a good idea to eat that animal.
(Science)
Tunas are awesome because they are large and fierce. The maximum tuna ever recorded was over 4.5 meters long, and that is huge. Shaquille O’Neil himself is only 2.16 meters long, and he is a good standard measurement for “big” things. A tuna, measuring in at just over 2 Shaqs, is pretty darn “big.”
Tunas are also fierce. When they arrive in the can they are not much, but in their prime they are really courageous and agile. A tuna can swim at over 70 miles per hour, which….you know…wow. The dorsal fin on a yellowfin tuna is so sharp it can cut your hand if you touch a tuna moving at full speed. Also they have fearsome teeth and jaws, and use teamwork to utterly annihilate bait balls made of lesser fish.
Anyway, the hope is that by eating tunas I will absorb these qualities.
- Pending Apocalypse? I put a question mark behind this only because I can’t be sure, but if the Apocalypse arrives, I will have food for at least 2 days (assuming I enjoy at a moderate 2 cans/day pace). That will give me plenty of time to learn how to be a hunter-gatherer. Thanks tunas!
In the end, the tuna situation isn’t great, and I am wondering how high prices will go. This, combined with the Great Peanut Butter Price Hike of ‘08 is creating a situation that is threatening to drive me to the poor house. I will be on the lookout for new foods and will also be crossing my fingers hoping that tunas do not join the ranks of the extinctuals.