Thursday, April 08, 2010

T Mobile= JERKS.

T Mobile is going to charge me $200 unless I can convince Egypt to speak English.  Egypt speaks Arabic.  This will not be possible.


figure 0.: The Letter I received from the snakes at T Mobile:

If you have had a cell phone contract in the United States, you know how stringent they are about cancellation fees.  This is why I was so careful to read my contract when I signed up with T Mobile on New Years Day 2009. 

The contract, like most in the States, allows early termination for free if you move outside the coverage area.  Otherwise, there is a $200 fee.

On Dec 27 2009, I moved to Cairo Egypt.  I am living there now, and posting this from my home in Zamalek, Cairo, Egypt.  T Mobile does not get coverage here.  I checked.

Before I left, however, I set about informing the company that I was moving outside the coverage area, and thus would need to cancel my contract.  I will keep the sordid details out of this in the interest of brevity.  T Mobile told me to bring documentation to their store, which I did.  They then told me that my documentation (Plane ticket and Work Visa) were not enough for them, and that I would have to produce:

1. A voter registration card

2. A utility bill

3. A Driver’s license.

Furthermore, they told me, I would have to produce these IN ENGLISH.

Now, let’s go through these one by one to demonstrate why this is a ridiculous requirement, and totally impossible.

1. I don’t vote in Egypt. I Can’t Vote in Egypt.  I WON’T BE VOTING. IN EGYPT.  Egypt is a dictatorship, idiots.  Also, I am an American citizen.  You know this.  I showed you my passport.  Finally, even if I renounced my citizenship, registered to vote in Egypt’s worthless elections, I wouldn’t even get a “registration card.”  If I did, it would be in ARABIC.


2.  This one is slightly more reasonable.  At least it would be, if Egypt was America and thus spoke “American” as T Mobile seems to intuit that they do.  I am posting a copy of my utility bill here, for evidence of what I’m talking about.  In addition, Egyptian law is that utility bills are made out to the name of the landlord.  I am not a landlord, thus there is no utility bill in my name.  Oh, how I wish every country was America.


figure 1.: Egyptian Utility bill.  In Arabic




3. Driver’s License.  Clever.  I have posted below an Egyptian Driver’s License.  It is not in English.  Even if it was, I don’t drive in Egypt.  A cab is 5 le ($1) to get most places I am going, and traffic is a death trap.



figure 2.: Egyptian Driver’s License.  In Arabic.

Now, I wouldn’t be so mad about this if I hadn’t already tried in good faith to prove to T Mobile that I am in Egypt.  I already produced my plane ticket and my visa.  When that wasn’t enough, I showed them my new cell phone contract, with an Egyptian company and listing my Egyptian address. I also showed them a job offer from an Egyptian company.  Why, T Mobile, would this company lie to you, claiming they met me in January, simply to get my out of my cell phone contract? 

I am not lying.  I am in Egypt.  I will take a picture of myself on a camel at the pyramids holding the date, hand written, if need be.  Anything to get these bastards off my back. 

What makes me most angry about the situation is that T Mobile seems to be purposefully making it impossible for me to prove I am in another country to get their $200.  I refuse to believe that they are simply so ignorant that they don’t realize there are countries that don’t speak English.  If they are, the let this be a warning to any of their customers considering a move abroad:  You will be charged the $200 fee, even if your contract states you shouldn’t have to.

Also, be warned that T Mobile only accepts snail mail.  They don’t do emails, or faxes.  This makes life difficult for me, since I am in Egypt.  I don’t even know if my letter would get to them in 30 days from here, which they KNOW, because I already sent them documentation.

UPDATE;

If anyone would like to contact me regarding this issue, my email address is posted just to the right of the start of this post.  T Mobile, I am looking in your direction!