Amazing/shocking/amazing! Earlier I was talking about the two jinns that I witnessed in the food store by my house, and today: a stunning development!
It seems that the two jinns, in an effort to make contact or send a message, have painted a rudimentary self-portrait on the fence near my flat!
As you can see, there is an uncanny resemblance between my earlier depiction of these jinns, and the way they have drawn themselves on the fence. They are two, but somehow connected, ghostlike, yet with human features. In the middle of their body they have drawn a lovely heart:
This certainly adds a new dimension to the jinn research that I was conducting. I knew that jinns were aware of humans, but I did not know that they had a desire to communicate! I am slightly torn between feeling delighted and afraid, and I am wondering about what the motives of the jinns might be. In any case, it is an indelible message. About that, there can be no mistake.
A similar event occurs in the movie Grizzly man, wherein Mr. Timothy Treadwell, living alone in the Alaskan wilderness, finds a painted happy face on a rock. Mr. Timothy Treadwell, instead of pondering why this message was left, immediately decides that it is “freaky.” I differ from Treadwell on this point, and I will consider ways to reply to the jinns.
I have also learned from this that jinns are probably illiterate, but that they are able to communicate using symbols. They are also aware of how to draw their own picture and apparently, how to buy spray paint. In a more interesting turn of events, they have figured out where I live.
In case anyone is curious, I also have in my possession an artist’s rendering of the first time I saw the jinns, in case they are out and about and someone sees them.
I did not post this fearsome picture originally because I did not want it to Provoke Fear. However, in my research I have come to the conclusion that the jinns aren’t fierce (I hope). I do not think they are dangerous because they like to draw and have depicted themselves with a big heart (which means that they have feelings are are not evil). If you see them tell them to post more messages so that I can Increase my Understanding.
In a recent post I downgraded my rating of a Jehovah’s witness pamphlet because (as I eloquently stated at the time) “there is a bunch of crap about thyroids which was stupid because who cares about thyroids?”
Convincing, but was I out of line?
Adam has pointed out that thyroids serve a purpose in the body and thus should not have been criticized out of hand. Since he is all high and mighty about thyroids (which I still might hate) I will post his comments en masse:
Dear Peter,
On behalf of all thyroid enthusiasts, I would like to politely demand that you adjust your rating curve to properly accommodate for the fact that thyroids are great. Let me explain why:
Thyroids are the largest gland in the body dedicated solely to the production of hormones. Two such hormones, triiodothyronine and thyroxine, ensure that your cells are creating energy through oxidative metabolism at a sufficient rate, especially during periods of high stress or exposure to frigid conditions. If you lived in the arctic and had no thyroid, your constitution modifier would probably roll out at a treacherous -4.
Furthermore, the hormone Calcitonin is secreted by the thyroid to help bones absorb and store Calcium, not only allowing for skeletal growth and repair but simultaneously preventing excessive levels of blood-mineral concentrations that could easily form harmful deposits.
Unless you’re willing to pass a kidney stone in defense of your thyroid antagonism, I strongly suggest you recant your current grade of the JW pamphlet. I believe a B or even B+ is in order.
Adam does a good job of convincing me that thyroids are pretty damn important, but I don’t know if I want to increase my grade. This is not a diploma mill I am running here, and besides, the Witnesses could have done more to illustrate their point, especially the part about kidney stones.
I am suggesting a new headline for their future publications:
Thyroids: Love yours or a rock might come out your ween/‘hoo-hoo”!
That is what’s called “B+ work.”
Adam on the other hand has done good Science today, and I thank him.
[this is a Palorchestes azael] Source
If there is one thing I love, it is prehistoric megafauna. Today I was searching around for the article the witnesses gave me so that I could put up pictures, and instead I found this extremely interesting article regarding prehistoric megafauna. My favorite prehistoric megafauna is the Megatherium aka the Giant Sloth. It has fingers like shovels. It has arm bones like tree trunks. It has a face like Volkswagen. Later I will explain all about megatheriums, which are much larger and cooler than today’s ordinary theriums which are still ok but not great.
I am disappointed that the National Geographic did not use the scientific term for megafauna. “Big Beast” just sounds childish. This is not a comic book. This is real life.
This morning while I was waiting for the bus I was approached (for the second day in a row) by a Jehovah’s witness. They have taken to driving around in the morning and offering reading material to people waiting at bus stops. Luckily, I think religions are fascinating, so I am always up for being convinced of just about anything.
Today’s lesson was especially interesting as a large part of it focused on woolly mammoths for some reason. Apparently some Jehovah’s witness was digging in or around the Colosseum in Rome (like you do) and discovered bones that he concluded were Elephas antiquus (“ancient elephant”). The witnesses provide a dramatic recreation of this beast and to my eye (which is expert in these matters) it looks awesome. Even more awesome is the fact that the ancient elephant was apparently carried to Italy by a flood. Hmm, I thought. Surfing elephant. This was sounding like a great religion.
Then the Jehovah’s witness left and Jane came, and I got to talking to Jane about the Jehovah’s witnesses. Jane told me that according to Jehovah’s witnesses only 144,000 people can go to heaven. I called crap because to me that sounded like a low number. But Jane was right. Here is a table I stole from Wikipedia which explains Christian views vs. the views of Jehovah’s witnesses.
1) 12,000 and 144,000 are symbolic numbers representing all of God’s people; or 2) Literally 144,000 people (12,000 from each tribe) will be chosen from the tribes of Israel.
12,000 is symbolic of the complete and balanced spiritual nation.[6] 144,000 is seen as literal.[7] It refers to “spiritual Israel,” not the physical nation [8] (i.e. the “anointed”).[9] Approximately 9,986 of the 144,000 anointed ones are alive on Earth today, according to the latest figures posted on the official Jehovah’s Witnesses website. [10]
All Christians are born again and will thus spend eternity with God.
Only 144,000 believers are born again. They will be raised up and spend eternity in heaven with God. [11]
One cannot see God’s Kingdom or enter into it without being born again.
Only the 144,000 can enter the heavenly kingdom. Those with an “earthly hope” will live on a paradise earth. [12]
Now I have a question. Since only 9,986 living people get in, and since nobody knows who those 9,986 are, do the Jehovah’s witnesses come and talk to me thinking that it will help them get into the 9,986, or are they thinking that maybe I am in the 9,986? Wouldn’t they feel sour towards God if they did all the work and it was the schmuck at the bus stop that ended up getting in?
Side question: Will there be ancient elephants in heaven?
Overall the pamphlet they gave me is pretty cool, I give it a B-. It includes lots about creatures and it mentions the end of the world. There is also a part in there about ways to chat up Jehovah’s witness ladies (spoiler: It is against Jehovah’s witnessing to chat up ladies).
It is marked down because there is a story of a man switching from Buddhism to Jehovah’s witnessing. This man probably didn’t know loads about Buddhism because it is possible in Buddhism to go to heaven too, but you are supposed to be non-attached to the idea of heaven because heaven requires an ego, and ego is bad. This man is clever, though, in a way, because he is an example of hedging bets with your soul, which is probably not a bad idea, since it is his soul and all.
It also included a story about the killing fields of Cambodia as proof that Buddhism is not a nice religion. Hint: If you are Christian, don’t complain when other religions kill people.
Finally on the down side, there is a bunch of crap about thyroids which was stupid because who cares about thyroids?
I will be looking forward to the next installment from the witnesses, and if anything awesome comes up like a surfing elephant I will mention it. I will also try to get my question’s answered from one of the team members of the Jehovah’s witnesses in order to Increase My Understanding.
I was hoping to put up a cheerful video of an elephant dancing that I made, but I failed in my attempt, because the internet is hard. Courage levels are somewhat low for this reason. Courage levels also have a lot to do with blood sugar levels, so I am consuming foods.
Side fact: Phunts consume wood. I didn’t believe this before I saw it with my own eyes, assuming that phunts consumed grass or some such. When I saw a phunt carrying a log, I was confused until I realized that this is the equivalent of a phunt sack lunch. Imagine a forest full of peanut butter sandwiches. This is why phunts are noble and bold. I would be noble and bold too if I had a forest full of peanut butter sandwiches.
Shizo Kanakuri disappeared while running the marathon in the 1912 Summer Olympics in Stockholm. He was listed as a missing person in Sweden for 50 years — until a journalist found him living placidly in southern Japan.
I would love to explain what happened to this fellow, but that would be thieving, which my gypsy heritage only allows sometimes (not now). Go to the link above to find out about what mus have been an interesting 54 year search for the Swedes.
